Midnight Thoughts

Every night lay in bed...

Author: Woman

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Dearest Zavvy,

I’m sitting quietly in the bedroom while you work away in the lounge, the night feels stretched thin around me, this migraine keeping sleep out of reach.

Yet even through the ache and pain, my heart feels full because the only thought circling my mind is gratitude. Gratitude to Allah, who in His infinite mercy, chose you for me.

I know it pains you to see me in pain with these migraines, and I’m sorry that I came into your life carrying this weight. Yet your patience, your gentleness always makes me feel safe.

I found myself remembering how we used to write letters in our own little space, words carefully placed as if they were treasures. So if can recall how to commit to GitHub I'll send there. Part of me wants to preserve this somewhere permanent, tucked away where time can’t erode so these feelings are never lost, only rediscovered.

I love you more deeply than I sometimes know how to hold. That love can feel overwhelming for me almost frightening, not because it is fragile but because I never want it to end. I sometimes when you're working away find my mind wandering and tears roll down my face because I love you so much. I wish I met you sooner. It is a blessing I do not take lightly. I am endlessly thankful for it, for you.

I see how hard you work. I see the quiet perseverance, the sacrifices you carry without complaint. I pray Allah accepts every dua you whisper and grants you success far greater than you imagine. I know you often ask me am I bored, truth is sometimes I am but please know this even when I wish I got to spend more time with you , know I am still so incredibly proud of you. Though there are so many moments I wish we could share right now, I truly believe this season of sacrifice is shaping something beautiful. Short term patience, by Allah’s will, will lead us to long term stability, peace, and joy.

I pray that one day we will stand side by side, witnessing the beauty of Allah’s creation together mountains, oceans, skies filled with light and that every step will feel like a quiet miracle we reached hand in hand.

I believe in you with my whole heart. I am endlessly grateful for you. Somehow, against all odds, the stars aligned and I pray they continue to burn brightly for us, always.

And if I may confess one quiet hope I carry in my heart it is this... I pray you never stop loving me the way you do now.

Never stop looking at me with that softness that feels like safety, never stop spooning me and laying your head on my belly, never stop the kind of gaze that reassures me before words ever could.

I hope your care for me never fades the way you notice, the way you hold space for my pain, the way your presence alone feels like rest. I hope the tenderness in your touch always carries the same intention it does now.

I pray that time only deepens this love, never dulls it that familiarity does not lessen the magic, but strengthens it. That even on the hardest days, when life feels heavy or distant, we still choose one another with the same sincerity, the same warmth, the same devotion.

May Allah protect what we have from hardness, from neglect, from taking one another for granted. May he preserve the way you love me, and the way I love you, and allow it to grow into something even more beautiful with every passing day.

I love you my handsome man with all my heart and every fibre of my being. ♥️

Whenever you lose motivation to do the work, read this and remember what it is you are working towards. At the end of it all, I will always be there, cheering you on and believing in you. You got this baby 💪🏻