Focus

Through the tunnel to you

Author: Woman

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Dear Zavair Fareed Saleem,

These past two days have felt like wandering through a quiet, echoing room, my thoughts filled with you while your world is drawn into the depths of your focus, pulled through the tunnel you’ve built around your goal.

I never thought I’d find myself here yearning for a call, a word, a gif or even a breath from you but your presence in my life has reshaped everything I thought I knew. You’ve ignited a quiet fire within me, one that simmers with hope . I find myself suprised by how deeply you move me, even when you're not near. The flame steadily growing, blossoming with every thought of you, but I need you to make me whole.

I just need you to know that I see you, your dedication, your drive, and the passion you pour into your work. I’m so proud of you, endlessly so. You’re carving a piece of your soul into this task, and I believe in you completely. I know how much it means to you, and I truly believe you’ll conquer it with Allah's will, like you always do relentlessly, passionately, and with that fierce focus. Ahh your fierce focus, the very thing that drives you, is a paradox that both fills me with pride and leaves me frustrated!

I can not lie, missing you is hard. I want to be your sanctuary when your thoughts grow heavy and the hours stretch long. I’m reminding myself that with patience comes great things, and I know that on the other side of this, you’ll have created something that allows us to be hopefully together - where you belong. Until then, I’m holding on, wrapped in thoughts of you, and sending all the positive vibes I can muster.

There’s something else that’s been weighing on me. The last time we spoke, things felt unresolved. You’d been posted about publicly, and I tried to protect you the best I could but despite my efforts, it wasn’t enough. I hope you know that no matter what’s been said or how loud the world gets, I see you for who you truly are. I judge you by the way you treat me and what I witness of you firsthand, and nothing else holds weight against that truth. I trust in who you are with me, and that’s all that matters.

I haven’t been able to send you my doodles, and it hurts more than I thought it would. My phone has finally given up on me, and I’m contemplating whether to invest in a small tablet or a different stylus pen to see if it works better on my Motorola. I miss sending you those little glimpses of my soul, scribbled out with affection and care. Those doodles, they’re pieces of me that I love sharing with you, little moments of my heart and vivid imagination captured in lines and shapes. Not being able to send them feels like something essential has gone quiet.

Sometimes, when I miss you so much, I find myself staring out the window, searching for the moon. I wonder and hope you see it too even if for just a moment, I imagine you glancing up and feeling me there beside you. It’s comforting to think that while the world pulls us in different directions, the same sky holds us close. It brings me a sense of closeness when everything else feels far away. I hope you know that wherever you are, I’m wishing on that moon for you, for your success, your peace, and your swift completion.

Just know that when the world quiets down around you, and you’ve conquered what you set out to do, I’ll be here - still proud, and still yours. I miss you with a fierceness I never saw coming, and I’m counting down the moments until I get to feel your warmth and hear your voice again.

The Woman